Cry in Daddy's Arms

Recently Gracie was celebrating Gabby's fifth birthday with the family. She saw that Gabby had opened a gift with a pretty little baby doll and being a little girl who loves baby dolls as much as any little girl. She ran over to pick up the baby to play with it before Gabby had a chance to look at it. Daddy and Mommy told her it is Gabby's baby doll.
The dissapointment from her understanding spread across her face and a pouty lip came out. Daddy held out his arms and she ran over to burry her face in Daddy's chest. Then the sobs and big tears flowed. Daddy wrapped his arms around her little body and kissed her on the head to consol her dissapointment and calmed her.

As an adult we often times take for granted what it feels like to have arms to run to and burry our head and cry freelly when we are hurt, discouraged, and disspointed with life's circumstances. My beautiful little girl needed to be loved on and know that Daddy was there to hold her close and make everything ok. I need the same thing. Unfortunately there aren't many arms big enough to wrap around me as I cry.

Scripture tells us to cast our cares on Him (Christ). This is picture above will be a constant reminder to me that when I am down and just need to cry that I can run to Christ and burry my face in his chest with his warm and caring arms around me and cry. He will make it all ok.

Gracie knows that Daddy would take all her pain away if it were possible. But she also knows that Daddy can make her feel better. There is no difference with the Heavenly Father. Jesus is Always there, never dropps the ball, and has big enough arms for the biggest of us.


Blessings, and Happy New Year


Mike III, AKA: Big Daddy

Playing in the Sand

                                          Big Daddy and my girls on the beach East of Nome


Being a Youth Pastor/Associate Pastor/Children's Pastor/and Missionary, there is little time to spend enjoying life. A life of service brings happiness, but true joy is found in honoring my wife, children, and God. I serve in Obedience to God, but if I do not take care of my wife and children and minister to them I fall short of the calling God has placed on my life...

I have served as a Full Time Youth Pastor for a little over ten years. Throughout those ten years my family has suffered from the lack of Daddy time. If my service to my youth take me away from my responsibility to love and cherrish every moment with my wife and children, then I fall short of what God has ultimately called me to. Moving back to Alaska, to Nome especially-I have learned what it means to take a brake and leave everything behind for a time to enjoy the moments of playing the sand. One of the most popular Christian poems is "footprints in the sand." It talks about Christ carrying us when times are hard and we don't have the sgtrength to walk on our own. Scripture tells of Jesus writing in the sand at the persecutors of the adultrous woman. Then there is a story of the house built on sand. Not that I am concentrated on sand. But not all that many months ago I was out playing on the beach with my wife and children. I looked back over where they had been and their footprints marked their path running spiratically in and out of the waves crashing on the beach.

In the midst of their laughter I was blessed beyond all measure and thrown into tears of joy. Walking hand in hand with my girls I realized more than ever the importance of those moments with them. My oldest daughter just turned five years old. Five years have gone by so very fast. Time goes by to quickly to give up the moments.

Watching my kids play in the sand sitting with my wife laughing as they screetched with joy throwing sand and water in the air, brought me the joy of a life long memory created. Those memories upon recall will bring me joy for the rest of my life...


So here's Big daddy saying: "Take some time to play in the sand!"



Blessings,


Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

                                                            Mike and A hand in hand!
                                                          Beach in Nome Alaska 2010

First Christmas at "HOME"

                                          Pastor Mike and the Children's Christmas Party 2010

So this Christmas I realized the importance of the season with far more relevance in past years. I also know now how it feels to have a Christmas in a place you that you truly feel as HOME... Growing up as a pastors kid that moves almost every two years you never get to feel as though there is a place that is "home." Sadly I felt only two places as home and now when I return to those places they still feel like home. The one would be with my dad's family in West Virginia and the other Camp Lex. A camp? Sure, for 17 years moving all over Nebraska, I can honestly say we spent more time at Camp Lex than any home we had in ministry. So it became home to me. I can't speak for my brother and sister, but some of my best memories are from my time on that campground.

But this christmas, something was different. I was blessed beyond measure. Yes, my wife and kids were with me and I had a LOT of snow. But, this was my first Christmas where I felt like I was spending Christmas at home! Even my time in the ministry there has not been one place that God had not spoken to me and told me that "this is just a stop on the road." Nome is truly the first time where I feel like we are not going anywhere. The place that I feel God has called us to without "the stop of the road of ministry." I didnt' realize how important it was to me until I read old journal entrees. When it hit me, I was filled with a warmth and security I had never known...

I hope your Christmas was as blessed as mine. And if you are just on a breif stop on the journey of life in a place, I hope that you to can get to a place where you feel like you are spending your Christmas at "HOME."


Blessings,


Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Birth of Pride

Gabby and Gracie

Once upon a time, in a state far far away. There was a mommy and daddy waiting patiently. No stork, no baskit with a bundle of joy wrapped in a blanket. But the real thing! Waiting and anticipating the arrival of their first born child.

For nine months mommy grew bigger and bigger and daddy waited paitently with excitement growing at every kick of mommy's tummy. A name was chosen by God, clothing and toys given, a room set up with crib and chair. Now they waited for the day when they met their first baby face to face.

During the coldest morning of the winter mommy rolled over and woke daddy. "It's time!" Daddy jumped up and with a flash started the car to make the dash! A full day of labor and ice chips followed. That night, the 22nd of december daddy and mommy recieved the best Christmas gift ever!

Daddy saw you first eyes so very blue, born face up looking at you. We wrapped you warm and gave you to mommy, daddy cryed tears of joy as did mommy...

That night this daddy learned what true pride and joy could be. Today is my Gabby's 5th birthday. For five years she has brought us joy beyond measure. She's our princess and much much more than a treasure. Jesus gave us this bundle of blessing to raise and keep safe. We are watching her grow into a beautiful little girls. Bright eyes and big smiles make our home full. God gave her a spirit of kindness and love for others. She's just like mommy and no other. I am more blessed than I could ever immagine to celebrate the birth of my first born daughter.

Thank you Jesus for the blessing of our children you gave us to take care of.

I love you Gabby more than you will ever know. Our connection will never grow old. You are daddy's girl until the day I pass. Never forget that Daddy loves you!

Merry Christmas,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

                                                Gabby and Gracie on the beach outside Nome

Fighting the Cold

It wasn't that long ago when I read about the Pharaoh of Egypt and God making his heart like stone. I have been thinking a lot about the coldness of hearts even in the warmth of the Holiday season. I am one that is prone to compassion and love for others. Sure, there are many times that I would rather not give the benefit of the doubt.. Don't we all? There are also times when I am angry and want to hold a grudge and I can be pretty good at that! Can't we all?

But, is there really any excuse for having a cold heart. Sure, there are circumstances that make us unhappy people. Life goes on! Have you ever run into that old person who is always grumpy and is feared by every little kid on the block? I wonder what their story is. When I was a kid and living in Lincoln Nebraska there was a grumpy old man that lived on our block. We were little enough that we had to stay on our street never leaving. So, we would ride our bikes up and down the block. Part way down the block there was this house with a very green yard always perfectly cut. Riding by feeling the wind in my face, I would always grip hard making my hands turn white and began to shake as I rode by this house. The old man was always sitting in front on his porch in a folded lawn chair. There was a lot about this old man that would make a little kid be afraid. He had huge knuckles from arthritis and longer fingernails than I had seen on most men. He wore a frown like a Halloween mask that seemed to never change. Hit snow white hair was short and seemed to be as icy as his heart.

One day i was riding down the sidewalk and didn't see a stick. I hit the stick solidly and was sent off course. As I pushed my feet back to brake my tires skidded on the sidewalk. My front tire went off the edge into this mans yard. My chain popped off and I flipped forward into his soft grass leaving the indent of my little body and a gaping hole from my bike pedal. When I realized I was in his yard my little body went into fear. I looked up and didn't see the man sitting there on the front porch like I had grown so accustomed to seeing. My momentary sigh of relief was shattered as big cold hands wrapped around my chest and arm. I could have sworn that my heart actually stopped. It wasn't long before I was lifted to my feet. I turned slowly and saw this old man with a frown on his face. He looked down at his perfect grass now broken. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes while waiting for him to yell at me or do something to me that my little imagination had so often done. Would he carry me to his basement and chain me to the wall? Would he yell at me and make me work as a slave to fix his property? Would he call the police? Would he walk me to my house and yell at my parents for letting their little boy destroy his yard. He had yelled at me before for accidentally riding through his yard. I fought back the tears and looked down to afraid to look into his eyes.

He let go of my arm and picked up my bike. I stood there when he said "come on." I walked up to his driveway. He opened his garage door and pulled a stool and a chair out. "Sit down." He turned my bike over and put the chain back on for me. Then grabbed a tool and tightened the chain. He told me I should pay more attention or I could get hurt.

I told him I was sorry for ruining his grass. He told me that while he worked very hard on the grass and loved to cut it and keep it green, it wasn't near as important as me being safe. I looked over at me and smiled. I had never seen him do this before and was in shock. I could almost hear his face screech as it moved from the frown and into a smile. As any little boy my mouth opened and words came out before my brain could stop them. "Why are you always so grumpy?" Uh oh! He looked at me and told me he wasn't grumpy, just lonely. He told me he lost his wife just before we moved in, and all the laughter was a reminder of the happiness he had before his wife died. We didn't live there real  long, but after that every day I would sit with the old man and talk with him while having a glass of tea. He told me all kinds of stories.

I don't remember the old mans name and I remember more his Knuckles than anything else. But, this got me to thinking about my life. I ran into some people who seem to be unhappy more than they are happy. What is their problem? Life isn't that bad. Well, how do I know what they have gone through? Maybe they got some bad news, maybe they lost the love of their life... I'm not saying we are justified to be grumpy. I am not even saying we don't have reason to be unhappy from time to time. What I am saying is that, there is a reason why people act the way they do. Allowing our hearts to grow cold and push people away only means one sure thing. Continued loneliness!

Today I hope and pray that if you are warm and happy you can look past the cold heart and grumpiness of others. Let your warmth warm them!


Merry Christmas,

Mike III AkA: Big Daddy

More than a moment

Sunset Bering Sea Outside my Office at OCS (Nome Alaska)

I am of the belief that we do not take the time to slow down and enjoy the moments we have. Last night I had to stay at the office later than usual for a treatment team meeting. This was the second night in a row that I saw the sun start to go down. But last evening in between calls, I stood at my window and watched the sun go down over the horizon. My office filled with a brilliant pink shade that covered the white walls.

This got me to thinking about those moments. As I stood there and breathed deeply quieting my mind, I realized that I need to take time. Sometimes we need to wake up and realize that there are more than just the moments. A moment can turn into an eternity, playing out in our memory.

When I was in College I would go to the Nursing Home (which was definitely out of my element) and read Scripture to an old man. He loved the King James version, which I do not prefer. Covering his walls were photos of family and one section that highlighted his younger years in the military. Before I would read, he would recall with clarity past events and tell me stories of what at the time would have been an insignificant moment if he hadn't taken the time to enjoy it. What I realize now is that there are no insignificant moments in time. They are only insignificant to us if we do not slow down and experience them. This old man couldn't remember what he had for breakfast or who he had talked to the day before. But, he could remember 50 plus years ago with precision of detail.

This got me to thinking about our twilight years. This old man isn't alone when it comes to short term memory loss. It's a fact of life that as we get older we have a hard time remembering things. But what stands out to me is the fact that our memory from years ago stays sharp. So every opportunity to just relax and take in the moment is significant. The old man would smile with every story he told me, sometimes the same story over and over. The moments we take can bring us joy as a snapshot memory from so long ago.

I took the picture above and below over the last couple of nights. But I won't remember from pictures as much as what I saw in that moment. Pictures fade and lose their detail and clarity over time. A memory may never fade...

So take the moments and hold on to them. Let them sink in through your eyes and be burned into your memory to recall in your twilight years!

Blessings,

Mike III AKA Big Daddy

Grace (Gracie) Elizabeth Christian 12-8-2010

Speculation and Assumptions

With social work we are trained not to speculate or assume until we have all the facts and are able to assess ourselves with our own eyes...
Throughout my training the four weeks split into two at a time, there was a lot of speculation on hypothetical cases. I couldn't wrap my head around what people would come up with on such few details. Isn't this what we do with God. Think abou it a minute!

So many out there living life have their reasons for not seeking God and in place seeking everything else to fill the void. They have all of these ideas on what they have heard or seen... Yet if seeing is believing then most haven't taken the time to see or experience for themselves.

When I was 17 I took a trip to Florida with a friend to visit the Pensecola Revival we had heard so much about. It was a birthday gift from my parents. I will admit that I speculated on if it was real or not from what I had heard. All the stories were to much to swollow because I had not experienced it myself. I had not assessed and come to my own conclusion about the supposed move of God that was taking place.

What I found is that it was real. There were thousands upon thousands of people waiting in line for hours, many from outside the country and of different beliefs, all to experience what they had heard. To find out for themselves if it was real.

I have come into contact with people over the years, and still do, who tell me their views on God. All of which have not given the change to experience and assess themselves. They have all these thoughts and opinions without assessing and creating their own thoughts and opinions. Let's talk about the birth of Christ. Mr and Mrs. so and so watch a special on the History Channel (which I normally  love) and see scholars talking about thier opinions and speculation on the birth of Christ. They paint a picture of Mary the mother of Christ being a prostitute and that she was knocked up by someone other than her husband or the Holy Spirit planting Christ's seed in her. So if Mr. and Mrs. so and so haven't assessed and experienced for themselves to weigh out thier salvation and the truth, they can easily take this and justify why they won't give self observation a chance.

Life is full of speculation and assumptions. The problem is and will remain that most times we are WRONG! I can assume and speculate that from what I have heard that a family is abusive and visit to assess and find that someone other than the family is just trying to cause trouble. What about the teen that everyone says is a troublemaker and hopelessly lost to help...? Speculation only adds to the despair of that kid. If no one is willing to get to know him or her and see who they really are, then what is the point.

Alaska is full of suicide, murder, and accidental death. How many of those who take thier own lives would have gone through with that act effecting so many others if they had just had ONE person to show love and compassion, looking past the speculation and rumors?

Do you speculate and assume to much?

My prayer is that we all take a moment and throw out the speculation and assumptions and live on truth and our own personal assessments!

Blessings and Merry Christmas,

Mike III AKA Big Daddy

Under the Surface

An empty house of worship,

under the surface on filled during times of hopelessness...

Look under the surface and find behind the scenes someone kneeling.

It's not about the house we fill,

it's about the house we create...

It's about the house we are and will become!

Look under the surface of me!

What do you see?

Look hard,

peer past the darkness beyond the bright eyes of hope.

It's there,

a hole mess of hurt and pain.

Under the surface,

I am weak, broken, bruised and scarred.

I am:

a failure to self and God...

a desperate soul crying out like any other.

Trapped under the surface is a servant,

binding the warrior God wants me to be.

Under the surface is a man, who needs help, favor, and love!

What are you under the surface?

Are you an empty house of worship under the surface!?

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Pretender

In the late 90's the Pretender was a popular show about a guy who pretended successfully to be someone he wasn't. Playing the part of many different people from many different lives with a goal. It isn't important what the goal was or the plot of the show, or even why it was cancelled.

What is important is that we all are pretenders at some point in time. We pretend to be strong when we are weak. We pretend to have compassion when in reality we are thinking quite the opposite. We pretend to live a life that we do not live behind closed doors. We are all pretenders...

I knew of peers in high school that acted different inside school than they did away from school. The things they said and did were to get approval from other peers, that all elusive "popularity." This in many ways made me sick. I never wanted to be around fake people. I just wanted to be me. I wanted to be around real people. If that meant hanging out with people that no one liked, at least i knew they were real!

See, in school I was the same as I was at home. The only time i was different was on the football field. I became a different person there because I knew I had to be more serious, dedicated, demanding of self, and ruthless. Behind the eyes of my ruthless play you could see that I deeply cared when I hurt someone. Behind the eyes the truth was there. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. I believe this... Look at someone who is truly evil in their lifestyle and thoughts. See if their eyes don't tell you a story and send chills of fear down your spine...

I am doing my best not to be a pretender in life... Do you pretend to be strong when you are weak..? Do you pretend to be something that you are not?

It's time to get real!

Blessings,

Mike III Aka: Big Daddy

Losing Daylight

We here in the frozen tundra of Nome Alaska are currently at 4 hours and 20 minutes every day of daylight. That number will continue to dwindle throughout the winter. It's got me to thinking. Much of the world thrives and works during the light hours. We do not! The differences in life and how life is lived is as different and vast as the miles that seperate us from the lower 48...

We dress different, most times giving little thought to our appearance as long as we are warm. The way we spend money is different as well. We purchase snow machines and 4wheelers not for entertainment but to survive and get from one place to the other. (I have not recieved one yet!) We buy more than the 15$ shovel from Wal Mart. Ours is a 70$ oversided snow pusher. While it cuts the work in half we have 5 times the amount of snow to move.

We buy less food at two to three times the price. We put more appreciation on warmth and hand crafted items and gifts. Fellowship is not only a fun time but a way of life. Drug addiction and alcoholism is worse and you can bet statistically we have more depression and suicide than most anywhere in the world.

People take Vitamen D to help with the depression that is supposedly caused from the lack of sunlight. We think word travels fast in the lower 48! Try living in a village! village gossip is faster than the internet or phone service. I call it VDS (Village Digital Service).

Even with our differenses there is much to be learned that can only be learned by living here and experiencing the lifestyle and culture. Once you are here and give it a chance, you can bet you will find it hard to leave!

Merry Christmas


Mike III, AKA Big Daddy

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

There is no mistake that the picture above is a nice painting of a wintery wonderland and not Nome Alaska. Firt of all we do not have trees, nor stone bridges, and trees do not exist unless of course you are brave enough to travel about 30 miles into the tundra. And to be completely honest, currently we have twice that amount of snow. Oh, and just so you have another tidbit of information: Our houses sit up on stilts with no basements!! :)

So, while I love snow and the added feeling of Christmas it brings, I am not at all thrilled about moving the massive amount of snow that fell, continues to call, and the wind blows into massive drifts outside our door and next to the cars. Last night I moved snow for more than two hours all to have it coverd by more than 4.5 inches through the night. Almost getting stuck trying to make it out of our driveway in the oversized 4wheel drive SUV from work and three times on the way down the main strip and in our work driveway was not a pleasant trip!!

But I do love the beauty of the fluffy white stuff. The excitement of my girls standing on the coutch peering out the window and the shreeks of joy coming from their little bodies while they watch it fall, makes me laugh and smile... Today though, while all of Nome is warm in their homes with school being canceled I am at work clicking away at the keys and returning calls hoping people will be in!

This is a morning that I would like to sit on the couch with a blanket cuddling with my wife and kids with hot cocoa, and "White Christmas" on the TV. So, if you are in Nome, enjoy your day of snowy leasure and try and stay out of the blowing wind that is cold and brings tears to your eyes. If you are in the lower 48, enjoy a day filled with work. But to all remember, that Christmas this season is only seasonal if you allow it to be. If you live Christmas and keep it well in your heart, it is Christmas all year long!


Blessings, and Merry Christmas

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy