Blessing and a Curse

I believe that each and every one of us have been gifts by the hand of Christ. I beleive that before we were born He knew us, and believe that He gave us gifts that are unique to who He wants us to be. While these gifts are a great blessing that I would not trade they are also a curse! Not that I see them as a constant curse but a curse as in, the inability to detach my feelings, compassion, love, and heart from a circumstance that requires me to be focussed on what the world would say is more important, the job!

You see when I chose to accept a position in Social Work, I saw it as an extension and open door to minister in a relevant way. I saw it opening doors for me to go to places that I would not usually be able to go. And, it has done just that. I have been part of the goods and bads, the ups and downs, in these children's and families lives. My heart breaks for them all.

Because of privacy laws i cannot share the heartbreaking story that is unfolding in my work right now. But, what I can say is, that i feel very uprepared and am completey and utterly without words to consol these children in their loss. How do I be there for them as a Social Worker and hold back the desire to minister to them as a Youth and Children's Pastor? I cannot separate my heart and who God made me because of the "law" of the land. Yet, Christ told us to abide by the law of the land. I know that I can be compassionate, and gentle, and more than anything listen. But, I am helpless and my hands are tied in how to really conduct myself tomorrow on this investigation...

My dream life cry's out when I see or hear about things of this nature. I am tormented and my heart shatters... Why does humanity do the things they do? Why do parents do the things they do to their children and around them? Why do they expose them to the evil of their hearts so freely without regard to what they may create and the dammage they WILL do? What is their consequence? I know they will be judged by a loving God. I know my Jesus loves these children more than I do and more than their parents could ever hope to. It's a good thing that I am not God. I would not be tolerant of these people. I would not offer them chance after chance!

How do you describe the your heart when there seem to be no words? This is causing me to lean more on Christ Jesus than ever. I have not the strength on my own. I need his wisdom and love to flow through me. My knowledge of the scripture is not near what it should be but maybe more than others. I know that acting upon our knowledge is showing wisdom.

"Jesus give me strength. Give me wisdom to say the right things. Let my compassion flow, and allow me to be who you created me to be. Help me to maintain a behavior that would honor you when I interview the perpetrator against these children. Let me approach this case with the love that you would! Let the love you have for them shine through me. Set me apart more than you already have, and give me favor and safety in my travel to this village. I love you Jesus and Praise you for what you have given to me and taken!"

Always Praying and Obedient to the Call




Blessings to you today,

Mike III AKA Big Daddy