Under Attack

Under Attack:

    There are times in life when we all feel as though we are under attack. Most times it comes in the form of stress from others in our lives, like: a boss who isn't so good a boss, unpaid bills, doctors appointments, depression, bad relationships, betrayal, death of loved ones, and so much more.

    Now, I can only speak for myself. Lately I have been under attack and know the source. The source is our ultimate enemy Satan. At night time when I am tired and sleepy and think my eyes will close and soon to follow a deep sleep, is when I have come under attack. I know it is spiritual because of the nature of the attack. This attack has made me question myself, my call, and weather or not I should give up. Even deeper than that is the feelings of hopelessness and being lost. Now, my Bible tells me that Jesus took our pain and our sin on the cross so we could have Salvation. I believe this. I am not depressed, there is a definable difference between depression and the kind of attack that I am going through.

    If I sit back and think about it, I really have nothing to be upset about. I started a new job recently that is a complete blessing with co-workers for the most part who are believers and happy that I am here. I have the most beautiful wife in the world, and angels for children even though at times they don't act as angels. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I have hobbies that bring me peace and (now) time to relax.

   The thing is, we as humanity can't simply be still and enjoy the blessings when we are under an attack. We get irritable and want to fix the problem on our own. A spiritual attack means that we "must" rely on more than ourselves. We have to rely completely on God, letting the problem slide out of our hands and into His. Doing this is a hard thing as we don't like to let go of control.

    I love my Jesus, and the fact that He allowed himself to be offered up as a Sacrifice for me is beyond my imagination or my own definition of love. I have met Him in a way that is intensely personal. He has healed me more times than I can count, protected me, provided for me, and loved me when I have done nothing to deserve that love. Right now, I have to communicate with Him and let Him take on this attack and fight for me. Easier said than done, I know! But, the simple truth is, He's willing and I have to be willing to let Him...

I hope and pray that you can let our Savior take control of the attack that is on your life...

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

concepts of being rational

Humanity is strong but weak. We seek to find the truth at all costs. Those with "faith" in a higher power consider themselves strong if only for having "faith." Those who do not have faith but have science would consider themselves strong and all other weak, because they are rational beyond those who are not. They seek out the hard facts and do not belive if they do not have the facts.

See the problem with being rationally minded is that there is no room for the unknown. What is unknown is only a challenge to find the facts so that there will be answers. I live my life with faith in God. I have not seen Him face to face. I have only read scripture and the accounts of God and Christ Jesus. I have felt the evidence of His existance and that is ALL the proof I need to believe.

There is a movie "The Santa Claus." In that movie the little boy is having a talk with his step dad. His step dad asks him why he belives in Santa when he has never seen him. The little boy replies, "Have you ever seen a million dollars?" Step dad says, "No." Little boy, "just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

The same is true for believing in Jesus. Just because we haven't seen Him doesn't mean He doesn't exist! Many do not question sightings of "Big Foot," sea creatures, UFO's, and even why they are spared from death, but question anything dealing with God, because it is to hard to believe in a power so great, they can't comprehend. To belive would drive fear into their hearts and minds and the possibility of not making it to Heaven is more than they can bare. They don't want to change their lives and prefer to live with the easyness of compromise and a total lack of conviction.

Jesus is the way the truth and the life...


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Courage Skin Deep, Tongue out of control:

I will be the first to admit that I was a little more than dissapointed when the quarterback of my Chicago Bears would not return in the second half of this past Sunday's game. I looked into his eyes on the sideline and saw no life, they were glazed over, lifeless even. The spray of the camera in his direction showed him in a coat not limping just standing. The only emotion he showed is when the Bears scored on a Hayney pass bringing the Bears within seven. I thought he was a coward.

Ok, so the media is going nuts on their reporting of his heart, passion, and overall desire to win the biggest game going on to an ultimate stage that would make his young career BIG. Not to mention he was playing against our most hated rival. Sure, it is being said that he strained his MCL. Ok so the guy has a strained knee ligament, not torn but strained. Could he have played on the knee? Sure, but I am also a supporter of medical staff making the decisions. They extend the playing life of our teams figureheads. They are not just high school trainers who tape an injury. They are doctors paid to make the correct diagnosis in the best interest of their players.

I wanted my team to win just as badly as any die-hard Bears fan. But come on, what are the players around the league spouting off about? Scripture tells us about the dangers of the tongue. It's a poweful weapon. Now, look at Jone-Drew, back peddling as fast as he can for what he twittered. Maybe he should have used his forefinger and thumb to put a clamp on the twittering tongue. It would have made it impossible for his ill intentioned fingers to tap the keys without control.

So, why's it so easy to play judge and jury of a man? Because we all think we know better than anyone else. The media swings wildly with their swords in the form of reporting in hopes to draw blood into the water for the sharks of the mass public to increase the size of their own wallets. So my time of eating crow was breif because while I posted my irritation on facebook, but still faithfully love the Bears. I will support Jay, but remain critical as a fan should. But I think we all should take a lesson from the scripture or fall of other men who opened their mouths prematurely in an effort to gain some attention.

Blessings to you Jay...


A Die Hard Bears Fan


Mike III, AKA: Big Daddy

A good DADDY

Scripture tells us to raise up our children in the way thay should go, and they will not depart from it when they are old...

I watched and episode of "Bones" tonight as I was finalizing my teaching for the Children's Service tomorrow (now since it's 12:30 am). At the end of the episode Booth is talking about one of his military missions where he had to take out a dictator who was killing groups of people, full families. He was at his location waiting for the dictator to move. His intel stated that it was a birthday party for the dictators son. Booth took the shot killing the dictator. The son was there witnessing it on his birthday. Booth then said that the boy didn't know who his daddy really was, but instead just loved him as "daddy."

Was that man a good daddy? Did the alternate life he lead make him a bad daddy? Many of us would say yes!

Who am I as a daddy? Do I live an alternate life? Do my kids know who their daddy really is? I would like to think that they do. I have no dilusions about myself at all... I know the areas in which I struggle. I am not proud of those things that make me less honorable. The fact is while I know we all have faults and we are all flawed, my children deserve to know their daddy. The sad part is that I am very transparent with the youth that I serve through work and ministry. There are moments that I draw deep within myself. I am silent and sit not seeing or realizing the things that are going on around me. Everything is a blurr as I sit and evaluate. I usually come to, when my wife or children nudge me. Then my surroundings come a live and all the sounds are sharp and clear not muffled from intense self involvement.

I want to be a good daddy. My children are growing quickly, and now we have another on the way. My oldest child is currently five years old. Looking back over the years and evaluating myself as her daddy, I am ashamed to say, I have not done well much of the time.

My wife and I had a conversation about how I treat Gabby and Gracie. Her perception is that I treat our five year old differently than our three year old. Sure I do. But from my perspective it is not negative. Gabby is five going on 17. She extremely intelligent for her age. I don't "baby talk" with her. Maybe my expectations are to high, and I get a little more frustrated than I should. There are times when I catch myself when I have expected to much.

The thing about me is that, I punish myself and in doing so I punish myelf far more than I probably should. I am blessed to have children that are well behaved. Even with an agressive three year old and a five year old that is a princess. Sure there are the initial fights between the two, but for the greater part is calm...

Am I alone in missing the times when I have been less than a good daddy? I do think we all need to accept the perceptions of others. I consider everything brought to my attention, maybe not at the moment, but always do consider what is being said. Tonight my five year old told mommy something very profound in the form of a question. Daddy and mommy had a disagreement, nothing that escalated to any level of raised voices. But, my five year old could tell we didn't agree. As they lay in bed talking and praying, Gabby asked her momme, "Mommy does Jesus like it when you and daddy don't get along?" Mommy replied, "No, He doesn't." "Jesus died for our sins, so when mommy and daddy fight Jesus is dieing for you and daddy." Gabby replied...

Ouch! Tell me that is not profound. Her understanding of Jesus at five years old, while with the simplicity of a five year old, is more profound than anything I have ever heard. Talk about conviction and an eye opening experience!!

So am I a good daddy? I have my moments, but tonight my eyes were opened to the fact that I am not nearly where I should be.

Maybe it's time I take the wisdom of my child and apply it. Every time I sin, Jesus is being crucified. He sacrificed himself for our sins, but the pain of that sacrifice is as real as the day it happened every time we consiously and subconciously sin. His scars re-open...

 I hope my experience helps you, but I am concerned about myself. My prayer is that I will continue to change knowing God will complete the work He has started in me...

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Dream Catcher

Above is the Native American "dream catcher." I have been interested in this thing for years. My curiosity about Native American History has fueled the dive headfirst into studying their traditions and beliefes, not to mention the way they lived and survived.

Last night our first Bible Study was suitably applied to my life. I have been trying to make my dream a reality for ten years. For whatever reason, mostly being God moving us on to a new location the dream could not become reality. It didn't stop me from agressively attempting to make it that though. So, because of my efforts to make my dream real, I have files full of contacts, information, designs, floor plans, vision/misson statements and core values, programs we will offer, and salaries with detailed job descriptions for all staff. Over the years my dream has grown bigger and bigger. It is easy to say it is well beyond what I can accomplish on my own.

So, my dream-To have a Youth Center... No, this isn't the typical youth center with just fun activities to merely get the teens involved in something other than drugs, alcohol, and premarital sex. It's much much bigger than that. It serves a profound puprose to reach out to the children and teens of the community in a relivant way offer just as relevant programs for their lives.
After moving to Nome the dream and vision grew more. Working with Office of Children's Services I have seen first hand the lack of services offered. So my dream/vision has grown to offer many of those services. I don't plan on working with Office of Children's Services for the rest of my life. This is a temporary stop to making my dream a reality. In fact, part of my dream is to be able to run the Youth Center full time with a staff for the various departments and programs we will run.

Now, sharing my dream in it's entirity would take much more time and effort, like a painter putting the paint to the canvas, creating a clear picture. What I want to share with you more than this is that we are dreamers.
This is what God created us to be. Some are dreamers more than others. Many do not put foot to grownd to live out their dreams and are in fact, ruled by fear justifying why they shouldn't go in that direction. Does God want us to live our dreams? I believe He does. I believe as scripture says He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. Why work a job to pay the bills where you live out a life miserable and continue to dream of something better, that would make you much happier? Doesn't really make much sense does it?!

Fear guides us in many ways. Fear that we don't have the money, fear that our dream once a reality will no longer hold the value it now does, fear that we will fail and our dream will shatter. As I agressivey persue my dream to make it a reality, I am driven by more than the dream. I am driven by making a difference. By reaching out to these kids and teens and having an impact on their families through them. I am driven by offering what they do not have to make them better people, citizens of their community, and giving them the tools to be successful men and women. I am driven to create a safe environment that will inspire them to greatness. Being driven to do something that is soo far beyond me, makes me rely on God all the more to see it become a reality...

God wants us to dream. He wants us to live our dreams no matter what they are. My paryer for you today is that you reach out beyond your fears and live your dream. Don't give up because of lack of money or support... Strive to make them all a reality...


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: BigDaddy

Love is a sacrifice

The love of my life: Skating Rink Nome Alaska 2011

The love of my life, my best friend, and my always and forever... I have come to know many things about love. One of those things is that Love is a sacrifice... Not as extreme as Romeo and Juliet, but a sacrifice just the same. When you are truly "in love," you sacrifce many times your own dreams and always put the "one" you are in love with before yourself (always).

The darker side of sacrifice is that we are human and make mistake after mistake hurting that person, the love of your life!! Time and again when we hurt that person, we find that we know there is a choice. The choice to forgive. The fear that resides in us all that are lucky enough to have that person forgive is that one question: When will that forgiveness run out? See the sad truth is, because we are human there is always an end.. There is always the point that comes when enough is enough...

I have been blessed with a queen that has forgiven me time and again, and I don't want to push to the end... I can honestly say that I am deeply "in love" with her. As corney as it may sound to quote a movie, (which I do often) She completes me...

I can say with full confidence that there is non like her on this planet. She is the most caring, humble, and happy peson I have ever met. While she is a "social butterfly" that stretches me to be more social, people are drawn to her because she truly cares about what others are saying. Most times I have to pull her away so our kids can get to bed on time.

There is much that I love about her. The talent she has with computer graphics and any form of art her hand touches, her love for our children, her weird sense of humor, the clothing piled high in our bedroom (irritating, but I love her for it), her scatter brained times, willingness to give the bennifit of the doubt to anyone, and most important - her love for God.. The list could go on and on. Her passion inspires me, her love for others stretches me, who she is makes me a better man...

While reality says that I fall very short and most times am a total failure, it's my desire to be the man she inspires me to be and the man God has destined for me to become. I spend many hours in prayer asking Jesus to help me to be that man and complete the work He started in me. I can't begin to express how foreign the new me is... I can't tell you how helpless I am when I can't understand her pain or help to heal it.

What stands out more than anything is that she has made the bigger sacrifice. He sacrificed a life of financial success and excitement to be with me. She chose me (God only knows why), as you can see from the picture above, she is my beauty and I am in fact, the lowly beast!

I hope and pray you have found and will find that person you are willing to sacrifice all for...

Note to "A":

Hey boo, I love you so very much. I don't say it enough and when I do, I still feel like I need to say it more... Thank you for loving me, even when you had every reason to run. I will be deeply and hopelessly "in love" with you until the day Jesus takes me home!

Always and Forever!!

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

Man, life is full of coulda, shoulda, woulda's...

I work as a Social Worker, and currently have been dealing with transporting a kid that I am the secondary on. Being secondary means your hands are tied in details they normally wouldn't be. Now I can't share all of the information because of privacy policies, and really don't care to share all of that. But, because of the actions of others and how this child has been dealt with the thought of shoudla, woulda, coulda kept coming to mind. Over and over I kept hearing we coulda or we shoulda...

Isn't that how life works? I coulda cleaned that mess up instead of yelling at my kids... I shoulda paid the bill on time instead of getting mad at the collectors for calling and spending the money on something I didn't need... I woulda made sure I told my wife I love her...

What about "I coulda went to church, I shoulda spent time in God's word instead of taking other books on priority, I woulda prayed more if I would have been able to give God complete control."

Life is full of the shoulda, woulda, coulda... What are you doing with these words?


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy