EVER WONDER?

Do you ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder what the future holds,

or what is behind the eyes of those so old?

They sit in silence rocking back and forth waiting for something.

What about the wind? Where does it come from?

How many times have they felt it on their skin, through endless circumstances,

some that look dim?

In their youth did they look into the distance and wonder?

Did they see their mortality grow closer?

Did they ponder their decisions, regret,

and see the consequences as future widsom?

Did they see time go by looking into the deep blue sky?

Is there a story with every wrinkle and every scar?

What about thier memories?

Do they make them laugh or cry?

I wonder about what the future holds,

As I look out into the bright Alaska night sky.

Will my past become wisdom to unfold?

Will a legacy have emerged that is pure and rich as gold?

Will the art my hands have created put a dent in history?

What is my story?

To live a long life and watch my children grow, love, and marry.

The moments many that enritch an eternity of smiles and cannot be burried.

A song is played out as our future comes about.

The song of love and eternal future melodies...

So what does the future hold?

Only my God knows,

His hands wrapped in warmth from all cold.

For my future is His and the journey is untold.

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

ACTIVE, AGGRESSIVE FAITH

So, I have been thinking a lot about being active in my faith. In fact, I spoke on it this past Sunday in Youth Group. You see, we live in a world and society where everything comes quick. There are fast food restaurants, microwave meals, one cup coffee makers, eggs pre-prepared, and yes even the media with the cell phones with Internet access and all the social networking sights.

We have apps for this and for that on our "nooks" (i do have one of these), "cell phones" (I also have one of these, and then there are the countless messages and "whats on your mind right now" with face book and my space.

Seems like we are actively lazy, allowing all the current inventions to do everything for us. Oh, and when you get these latest and greatest gadgets it isn't a few months before the next level comes out. Think about it. I-phone then the I-phone 2; I-pad and now I-pad 2. Same goes with everything. Computers, cell phones, Internet servers, browsers, e-books, cars, jobs, and the viscous cycle continues on and on and on.

Everything seems to go into these cycles. The media just helps the revolving door to continue on it's endless fast spin. Style matters, not intelligence unless it's intelligence with looks and the latest style. Nerds are in but only in a "Chuck" way and geeks are completely out. There isn't just goth anymore now there is the multi defined "emo." Someone says it's in that has influence and it becomes the all powerful in for the moment until another person decides it's out and something else is now the best, the new rave. Can you hear the revolving door speed up and feel it blow the wind in your face? You should smell the stench of hypocrisy and rotten intentions for the pursuit of money by those who own it all and lay the foundation for the direction our society continues to move in. The fast lane. All leading down the path of destruction and self pleasure with never ending want and desperation to have more!

To be active and aggressive is something that takes more than just determination. It takes an attitude and spirit deep within and a change of self re-defining who we are and crossing the barrier until who we are becomes who we were and to look back and who we were makes us physically ill. Almost like a gut check moment that opens your eyes and removes the veil that has shrouded you in blindness, like someone diseased with anorexia who sees themselves as fat in the mirror when in reality they are skin and bones and clothes hang off their bodies. It's when the veil is lifted that we are disgusted by what we see. Then and only then there is a seed planted. The seed of desperation to change and become something new. A rebirth! But, the rebirth I am talking about is more than temporal sense of newness. It's the kind of birth that brings an excitement and desire to be aggressive about what has changed us.

I have become more aggressive with my faith over the past few years. Not in the sense that I am more overpowering with my opinions and a borderline fanatical Bible thumper. No, something much more. In fact, so different that I have been changed. Don't get me wrong this kind of aggressive mentality of change still is seen as offensive to humanity, even "Christians."

I don't carry around my Bible swinging away hoping that I hit something and someone anyone will listen. I am aggressive in every area. I will admit that like anyone living a life of responsibility I get overwhelmed and temporarily set back. For instance, I have for the most part been more aggressive with my marriage. I show a different kind of love than I was shown. When I fall back I become ashamed and am even more aggressive in fixing it even when it requires me to fall to my knees and ask my beautiful wife and best friend for forgiveness.

The same rings true with my Savior. You see, He's the reason for all this anyway. He willingly gave His life for us. We don't fully comprehend what it meant for Him to do this and what kind of change it brought to humanity because we weren't there before he gave up his last breath. I imagine Christ sitting next to the Father and weeping as He watches His children who He died for act out in such stupid and reckless fashion. I think about when I have told my children "no" to something because I know what's best for them. When they act out it doesn't make me happy, it saddens me and at times breaks my heart, and even more hurtful is when I have to punish them in the form of timeouts and spankings.

I am actively aggressive to continue to the change within me. I am on a continuous pattern and have chosen a new revolving door that has options for me to get off at any point in time. The difference is that I don't want to get off. I know what the other revolving door holds. It's that bitter stench of loveless pursuit of nothing!

How aggressive are you in your Faith? Not faith in general but Faith in Christ Jesus.... All is for nothing if you have not faith. Faith that moves mountains. Faith that says "I can do anything."


Blessings,
Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Time Away

I decided to take some time away from the "blog thing" as a way not to have the creative juices flowing but as a way of searching myself out and opeing the door to deep thinking and a time of peace. The thing about writing an e-mail or in a blog that cronicles deep thoughts more than merely just short stories or a "diary" of the days interesting or funny events, is that most times the material is so personal and emotionally taxing that you begin to dry up.

The truth is, some things are meant to keep to yourself. The things we learn through trials and circumstances may be able to help others but the fact is, sometimes they are for us personally and no one else. These are inner lessons that have to be considered for long periods of time. Not unlike evaluating spiritual self, or even evlauating one's motives and heart over life altering choices.

We live in a wold filled where everything is right at the tip of your fingers. You can find anything with a few quick key strokes, from how to bake a perfect Turkey to applying facial cream to clear your complextion and rid yourself of age and the wrinkles that fallow.

Don't get me wrong, there is a place for the information that we have surrounding us and invading every part of our lives. But, consider for a moment the cost of the information highway. Do you think life was happier and easier before there was the surge of information via the internet and cell phones. I mean come on! You can access the internet from your cell phone and even video game units as small as a PSP. I remember in high school not having a cell phone and the internet being dial up. I remember getting hold of friends by the telephone on the wall or driving/walking/biking to their house to find them. I didn't even have an e-mail account until just before I went off to college. Of course this was pre-social networking days. I can onlly immagine the times I wouldn't have been out of the house enjoying the beautiful weather if I'd had facebook or myspace. I was actually out with the friends I would have had on those sites, spending time with them perosonally. At the end of the night we went home and did what we usually did and waited to see or talk to each other the next day at school.

If I wanted to take my girlfriend out on a date I would call her on the phone or ask her in person. If I needed a date to the dance that was coming up I would have to ask in person not by e-mail or facebook. Everything was more personal. I didn't care about a cell phone. I didn't want a cell phone. If anything I wanted my ride to run better or have more time to work out.

I am in no way saying that being connected through the internet is a bad thing. Im not even saying that social networks are all bad. Shoot, I've reconnected with friends I haven't seen or talked to in years because of facebook. What I am saying is that it can be too much. The hole reason I decided to stay away from this blog for so long.

In fact, we took a month away from facebook and all social networking as well as e-mail and basic internet use while we were on Vacation. We decided it would be best to leave it alone and enjoy the time away. Call it a self imposed fast of the media. Well not all media because we did enjoy some movies and did use our cell phones and GPS to get from point A to point B. But for the most part we didn't partake in the media frenzie that occupies so much of our day that it becomes part of what we do. Getting back to life after Vacation it was almost hard to get onto facebook and let people know we made it home safe. If it were not for my students that I serve I would not have gotten back on other than to check on them.

I am sure that while I rant and rave about the need for a quieter more internet and media free life you have checked your facebook account on  your cell phone sent a high number of txt messages and even looked at your personal e-mail account. What I wouldn't give to live in the days of the pioneers (with medicine!) and not have to worry about cell phones, phone towers, spending money on fuel, electric bills, and so much more that we work so hard to pay for. While advances are good they are just as costly. The cost? Peace of mind, personal relationships, growing gray hairs, and being there for our children to watch them play and grow.

What about you? Maybe you should take a personal sabatical from the media that floods your life. I plan to do this more and more. Breath the fresh air, leave your cell phone at home when you are out with the family, turn off the lights and light some candles (at least it will smell better), walk to work instead of driving your car, and do it for yourself and your family.


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Five Years

In one week I will be leaving for Vacation with my wife and kids for the first time in Five years. I am filled with mixed emotions for this trip. Anticipating a good time with my girls and yet feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of things that need to get done as well as how hard it is to travel with your three year old.

Then there is the tension that can arise with in-laws. I know not everyone has problems and is welcomed and can be accepted into the family as part of the family, but this is not the case for me. So, I spend time in prayer asking for patience and God's grace and favor with them. There is also the fact that my definition of vacation is so much more different than most.

I see vacation as relaxing and just going with the flow making as few plans as possible and having no schedule. Since I got married to my best friend and beautiful wife every vacation with her family has been planed out by every moment. No sleeping in, no resting on a deck, no hot tub (if one is there), and no real spontaneity. Well her dad at least! Sure, we have a planned visit with dates to my grandparents, aunt, and uncle as well as visits to the zoo and space museum. But I have gone out of my way to make sure we are not making a planned out schedule, that we will be free to roam, sleep in, go for walks, play in the grass with the warm sun, and just have a good time giving our girls ALL of our attention.

I admit that my initial thought is to not have to go to church and take a hole month off. But, I am not going to allow that to happen. So this is one area that may cause some tension with my wife's family as they are not Christians. I hope they won't have a problem with it, but just the same we will be in God's house! The heat could pose a problem as we are acclimated to the cool summers of Alaska. The heat will feel good at first, but sun burns are not a good by product of the fun we will have.

My wife is also pregnant with our third child and with her natural hormones during this time, things could get very emotional and if tension does come could result in some hard moments. In the end I am filled with anticipation and all the other emotions can take a back seat and I will breath through them and focus on the trip being as fun as possible.

I need this trip as much as my wife and kids. It's important to get away. Getting away from the norm creates a clear mind and desire to come back and be busy about our purpose in life. I pray all of you have a great summer and get a chance to get away from it all and enjoy life!


Blessings,
Mike III, AKA BIG DADDY

Sacrifice of the Lamb

Tomorrow is "Good Friday." That night so long ago that Jesus broke bread with His Disciples and told them that He would be with them no more. As clearly as He could put it, they still had no understanding. A couple of days later He would be put to death by the very crowd that welcomed Him in a palm leaf perade.

Humanity welcomes with open arms a heroe until it doesn't suit them anymore. Christ was pure, compassionate, and filled with love even when he was walkign the path covered in blood, pain shooting through his body with every step and feeling the cross grind on His broken skin. He shouted that God would forgive them because they knew not what they were doing.

If He were to do it all over again and in our time, would our rulers of denominations condemn Him to death? I beleive they would. In fact I don't believe that Jesus or any one of His disciples could hold credentials of a Pastor with the polotics that are involved today.

It's time we get back to the heart of God and act as Christ would act, love as Christ would love, and sacrifice as Christ would sacrifice.


Always Praying and Obedient to the Call





Mike III, AKA: Big Daddy

Under Attack

Under Attack:

    There are times in life when we all feel as though we are under attack. Most times it comes in the form of stress from others in our lives, like: a boss who isn't so good a boss, unpaid bills, doctors appointments, depression, bad relationships, betrayal, death of loved ones, and so much more.

    Now, I can only speak for myself. Lately I have been under attack and know the source. The source is our ultimate enemy Satan. At night time when I am tired and sleepy and think my eyes will close and soon to follow a deep sleep, is when I have come under attack. I know it is spiritual because of the nature of the attack. This attack has made me question myself, my call, and weather or not I should give up. Even deeper than that is the feelings of hopelessness and being lost. Now, my Bible tells me that Jesus took our pain and our sin on the cross so we could have Salvation. I believe this. I am not depressed, there is a definable difference between depression and the kind of attack that I am going through.

    If I sit back and think about it, I really have nothing to be upset about. I started a new job recently that is a complete blessing with co-workers for the most part who are believers and happy that I am here. I have the most beautiful wife in the world, and angels for children even though at times they don't act as angels. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I have hobbies that bring me peace and (now) time to relax.

   The thing is, we as humanity can't simply be still and enjoy the blessings when we are under an attack. We get irritable and want to fix the problem on our own. A spiritual attack means that we "must" rely on more than ourselves. We have to rely completely on God, letting the problem slide out of our hands and into His. Doing this is a hard thing as we don't like to let go of control.

    I love my Jesus, and the fact that He allowed himself to be offered up as a Sacrifice for me is beyond my imagination or my own definition of love. I have met Him in a way that is intensely personal. He has healed me more times than I can count, protected me, provided for me, and loved me when I have done nothing to deserve that love. Right now, I have to communicate with Him and let Him take on this attack and fight for me. Easier said than done, I know! But, the simple truth is, He's willing and I have to be willing to let Him...

I hope and pray that you can let our Savior take control of the attack that is on your life...

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

concepts of being rational

Humanity is strong but weak. We seek to find the truth at all costs. Those with "faith" in a higher power consider themselves strong if only for having "faith." Those who do not have faith but have science would consider themselves strong and all other weak, because they are rational beyond those who are not. They seek out the hard facts and do not belive if they do not have the facts.

See the problem with being rationally minded is that there is no room for the unknown. What is unknown is only a challenge to find the facts so that there will be answers. I live my life with faith in God. I have not seen Him face to face. I have only read scripture and the accounts of God and Christ Jesus. I have felt the evidence of His existance and that is ALL the proof I need to believe.

There is a movie "The Santa Claus." In that movie the little boy is having a talk with his step dad. His step dad asks him why he belives in Santa when he has never seen him. The little boy replies, "Have you ever seen a million dollars?" Step dad says, "No." Little boy, "just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't exist."

The same is true for believing in Jesus. Just because we haven't seen Him doesn't mean He doesn't exist! Many do not question sightings of "Big Foot," sea creatures, UFO's, and even why they are spared from death, but question anything dealing with God, because it is to hard to believe in a power so great, they can't comprehend. To belive would drive fear into their hearts and minds and the possibility of not making it to Heaven is more than they can bare. They don't want to change their lives and prefer to live with the easyness of compromise and a total lack of conviction.

Jesus is the way the truth and the life...


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Courage Skin Deep, Tongue out of control:

I will be the first to admit that I was a little more than dissapointed when the quarterback of my Chicago Bears would not return in the second half of this past Sunday's game. I looked into his eyes on the sideline and saw no life, they were glazed over, lifeless even. The spray of the camera in his direction showed him in a coat not limping just standing. The only emotion he showed is when the Bears scored on a Hayney pass bringing the Bears within seven. I thought he was a coward.

Ok, so the media is going nuts on their reporting of his heart, passion, and overall desire to win the biggest game going on to an ultimate stage that would make his young career BIG. Not to mention he was playing against our most hated rival. Sure, it is being said that he strained his MCL. Ok so the guy has a strained knee ligament, not torn but strained. Could he have played on the knee? Sure, but I am also a supporter of medical staff making the decisions. They extend the playing life of our teams figureheads. They are not just high school trainers who tape an injury. They are doctors paid to make the correct diagnosis in the best interest of their players.

I wanted my team to win just as badly as any die-hard Bears fan. But come on, what are the players around the league spouting off about? Scripture tells us about the dangers of the tongue. It's a poweful weapon. Now, look at Jone-Drew, back peddling as fast as he can for what he twittered. Maybe he should have used his forefinger and thumb to put a clamp on the twittering tongue. It would have made it impossible for his ill intentioned fingers to tap the keys without control.

So, why's it so easy to play judge and jury of a man? Because we all think we know better than anyone else. The media swings wildly with their swords in the form of reporting in hopes to draw blood into the water for the sharks of the mass public to increase the size of their own wallets. So my time of eating crow was breif because while I posted my irritation on facebook, but still faithfully love the Bears. I will support Jay, but remain critical as a fan should. But I think we all should take a lesson from the scripture or fall of other men who opened their mouths prematurely in an effort to gain some attention.

Blessings to you Jay...


A Die Hard Bears Fan


Mike III, AKA: Big Daddy

A good DADDY

Scripture tells us to raise up our children in the way thay should go, and they will not depart from it when they are old...

I watched and episode of "Bones" tonight as I was finalizing my teaching for the Children's Service tomorrow (now since it's 12:30 am). At the end of the episode Booth is talking about one of his military missions where he had to take out a dictator who was killing groups of people, full families. He was at his location waiting for the dictator to move. His intel stated that it was a birthday party for the dictators son. Booth took the shot killing the dictator. The son was there witnessing it on his birthday. Booth then said that the boy didn't know who his daddy really was, but instead just loved him as "daddy."

Was that man a good daddy? Did the alternate life he lead make him a bad daddy? Many of us would say yes!

Who am I as a daddy? Do I live an alternate life? Do my kids know who their daddy really is? I would like to think that they do. I have no dilusions about myself at all... I know the areas in which I struggle. I am not proud of those things that make me less honorable. The fact is while I know we all have faults and we are all flawed, my children deserve to know their daddy. The sad part is that I am very transparent with the youth that I serve through work and ministry. There are moments that I draw deep within myself. I am silent and sit not seeing or realizing the things that are going on around me. Everything is a blurr as I sit and evaluate. I usually come to, when my wife or children nudge me. Then my surroundings come a live and all the sounds are sharp and clear not muffled from intense self involvement.

I want to be a good daddy. My children are growing quickly, and now we have another on the way. My oldest child is currently five years old. Looking back over the years and evaluating myself as her daddy, I am ashamed to say, I have not done well much of the time.

My wife and I had a conversation about how I treat Gabby and Gracie. Her perception is that I treat our five year old differently than our three year old. Sure I do. But from my perspective it is not negative. Gabby is five going on 17. She extremely intelligent for her age. I don't "baby talk" with her. Maybe my expectations are to high, and I get a little more frustrated than I should. There are times when I catch myself when I have expected to much.

The thing about me is that, I punish myself and in doing so I punish myelf far more than I probably should. I am blessed to have children that are well behaved. Even with an agressive three year old and a five year old that is a princess. Sure there are the initial fights between the two, but for the greater part is calm...

Am I alone in missing the times when I have been less than a good daddy? I do think we all need to accept the perceptions of others. I consider everything brought to my attention, maybe not at the moment, but always do consider what is being said. Tonight my five year old told mommy something very profound in the form of a question. Daddy and mommy had a disagreement, nothing that escalated to any level of raised voices. But, my five year old could tell we didn't agree. As they lay in bed talking and praying, Gabby asked her momme, "Mommy does Jesus like it when you and daddy don't get along?" Mommy replied, "No, He doesn't." "Jesus died for our sins, so when mommy and daddy fight Jesus is dieing for you and daddy." Gabby replied...

Ouch! Tell me that is not profound. Her understanding of Jesus at five years old, while with the simplicity of a five year old, is more profound than anything I have ever heard. Talk about conviction and an eye opening experience!!

So am I a good daddy? I have my moments, but tonight my eyes were opened to the fact that I am not nearly where I should be.

Maybe it's time I take the wisdom of my child and apply it. Every time I sin, Jesus is being crucified. He sacrificed himself for our sins, but the pain of that sacrifice is as real as the day it happened every time we consiously and subconciously sin. His scars re-open...

 I hope my experience helps you, but I am concerned about myself. My prayer is that I will continue to change knowing God will complete the work He has started in me...

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Dream Catcher

Above is the Native American "dream catcher." I have been interested in this thing for years. My curiosity about Native American History has fueled the dive headfirst into studying their traditions and beliefes, not to mention the way they lived and survived.

Last night our first Bible Study was suitably applied to my life. I have been trying to make my dream a reality for ten years. For whatever reason, mostly being God moving us on to a new location the dream could not become reality. It didn't stop me from agressively attempting to make it that though. So, because of my efforts to make my dream real, I have files full of contacts, information, designs, floor plans, vision/misson statements and core values, programs we will offer, and salaries with detailed job descriptions for all staff. Over the years my dream has grown bigger and bigger. It is easy to say it is well beyond what I can accomplish on my own.

So, my dream-To have a Youth Center... No, this isn't the typical youth center with just fun activities to merely get the teens involved in something other than drugs, alcohol, and premarital sex. It's much much bigger than that. It serves a profound puprose to reach out to the children and teens of the community in a relivant way offer just as relevant programs for their lives.
After moving to Nome the dream and vision grew more. Working with Office of Children's Services I have seen first hand the lack of services offered. So my dream/vision has grown to offer many of those services. I don't plan on working with Office of Children's Services for the rest of my life. This is a temporary stop to making my dream a reality. In fact, part of my dream is to be able to run the Youth Center full time with a staff for the various departments and programs we will run.

Now, sharing my dream in it's entirity would take much more time and effort, like a painter putting the paint to the canvas, creating a clear picture. What I want to share with you more than this is that we are dreamers.
This is what God created us to be. Some are dreamers more than others. Many do not put foot to grownd to live out their dreams and are in fact, ruled by fear justifying why they shouldn't go in that direction. Does God want us to live our dreams? I believe He does. I believe as scripture says He wants to give us the desires of our hearts. Why work a job to pay the bills where you live out a life miserable and continue to dream of something better, that would make you much happier? Doesn't really make much sense does it?!

Fear guides us in many ways. Fear that we don't have the money, fear that our dream once a reality will no longer hold the value it now does, fear that we will fail and our dream will shatter. As I agressivey persue my dream to make it a reality, I am driven by more than the dream. I am driven by making a difference. By reaching out to these kids and teens and having an impact on their families through them. I am driven by offering what they do not have to make them better people, citizens of their community, and giving them the tools to be successful men and women. I am driven to create a safe environment that will inspire them to greatness. Being driven to do something that is soo far beyond me, makes me rely on God all the more to see it become a reality...

God wants us to dream. He wants us to live our dreams no matter what they are. My paryer for you today is that you reach out beyond your fears and live your dream. Don't give up because of lack of money or support... Strive to make them all a reality...


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: BigDaddy

Love is a sacrifice

The love of my life: Skating Rink Nome Alaska 2011

The love of my life, my best friend, and my always and forever... I have come to know many things about love. One of those things is that Love is a sacrifice... Not as extreme as Romeo and Juliet, but a sacrifice just the same. When you are truly "in love," you sacrifce many times your own dreams and always put the "one" you are in love with before yourself (always).

The darker side of sacrifice is that we are human and make mistake after mistake hurting that person, the love of your life!! Time and again when we hurt that person, we find that we know there is a choice. The choice to forgive. The fear that resides in us all that are lucky enough to have that person forgive is that one question: When will that forgiveness run out? See the sad truth is, because we are human there is always an end.. There is always the point that comes when enough is enough...

I have been blessed with a queen that has forgiven me time and again, and I don't want to push to the end... I can honestly say that I am deeply "in love" with her. As corney as it may sound to quote a movie, (which I do often) She completes me...

I can say with full confidence that there is non like her on this planet. She is the most caring, humble, and happy peson I have ever met. While she is a "social butterfly" that stretches me to be more social, people are drawn to her because she truly cares about what others are saying. Most times I have to pull her away so our kids can get to bed on time.

There is much that I love about her. The talent she has with computer graphics and any form of art her hand touches, her love for our children, her weird sense of humor, the clothing piled high in our bedroom (irritating, but I love her for it), her scatter brained times, willingness to give the bennifit of the doubt to anyone, and most important - her love for God.. The list could go on and on. Her passion inspires me, her love for others stretches me, who she is makes me a better man...

While reality says that I fall very short and most times am a total failure, it's my desire to be the man she inspires me to be and the man God has destined for me to become. I spend many hours in prayer asking Jesus to help me to be that man and complete the work He started in me. I can't begin to express how foreign the new me is... I can't tell you how helpless I am when I can't understand her pain or help to heal it.

What stands out more than anything is that she has made the bigger sacrifice. He sacrificed a life of financial success and excitement to be with me. She chose me (God only knows why), as you can see from the picture above, she is my beauty and I am in fact, the lowly beast!

I hope and pray you have found and will find that person you are willing to sacrifice all for...

Note to "A":

Hey boo, I love you so very much. I don't say it enough and when I do, I still feel like I need to say it more... Thank you for loving me, even when you had every reason to run. I will be deeply and hopelessly "in love" with you until the day Jesus takes me home!

Always and Forever!!

Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

Man, life is full of coulda, shoulda, woulda's...

I work as a Social Worker, and currently have been dealing with transporting a kid that I am the secondary on. Being secondary means your hands are tied in details they normally wouldn't be. Now I can't share all of the information because of privacy policies, and really don't care to share all of that. But, because of the actions of others and how this child has been dealt with the thought of shoudla, woulda, coulda kept coming to mind. Over and over I kept hearing we coulda or we shoulda...

Isn't that how life works? I coulda cleaned that mess up instead of yelling at my kids... I shoulda paid the bill on time instead of getting mad at the collectors for calling and spending the money on something I didn't need... I woulda made sure I told my wife I love her...

What about "I coulda went to church, I shoulda spent time in God's word instead of taking other books on priority, I woulda prayed more if I would have been able to give God complete control."

Life is full of the shoulda, woulda, coulda... What are you doing with these words?


Blessings,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Something to Believe in

Psalms 40:1-3
I waited patiently for God to help me; then He listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things He did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him.

---

I run into so many who are search of something to give their life meaning. They search everywhere without fail, most times creating nothing but a hopeless existence and living unhappy. They surround themselves with "things" that bring temporary entertainment. They don't know the real meaning of pleasure for all the pleasure they seek is temporary. In times of struggle they either blame God or run to Him. When He gives them aid they forget quickly the one who gave it and return to the same old pattern of self-distruction. Isn't this the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results!

I have been raised in a Pastors home. I have been exposed to all the good and bad of Christianity. I too have struggled and searched for some sort of meaning in a life of hopelessness. Christianity in itself is not the motivation of a life of happiness. In fact, this can cause more problems. A life of happiness is self-devotion to Christ Jesus, not to Christianity. I am not one who is proud to say I am a Christian, I am in fact proud to say I am a follower of Christ. He has given me the answers that I have needed. Even when there seems to be no answer, He fills me with total peace. The search for a relevant meaning to my life has brought me to one conclusion. It has stared me in the face all my life. I have ran from it without understanding. I have been an active participant in my own self-distructive patterns. I have filled my life with meaningless and passing pleasure. While I was a "good kid", never partied, had mulitple sex partners, or done any drugs, I partook of other fleating pleasures. I took joy and brining physical pain to others and loved when a physical altercation found me. I fought in my flesh and in my spirit. I consumed myself with being the best at what ever I put my hand to, and most times excelled.

It was all fleeting.. Scripture says ... everything is a passing in the wind. This is completely true! Nothing we have is constant. There is no peace in the material things we posess. There is no peace or true happiness in a nice car, money, or other indulgances. It ALL passes away in time. Money comes and goes, alcohol is consumed and evacuates the body in some very discusting ways. Most relationships evaporate as quickly as they arrive. Work is just that, "work." None of these things bring true happiness.

If you are searching for meaning, a purpose to your life, then all you and I have to do is open our eyes to what has been staring us in the face all our lives. The answer is the never failing, never ending, always abundant and unexplainable love of Jesus. It has become a negative action to share your belief in Christ. Separation of Church and State has gone to far. Respect for those who hold Spiritual leadership positions has failed. The Holy Word says that if we deny Christ before man, He will deny us before the Father in Heaven.

Open your eyes, join the family that will never fail you. QUIT running and allow the love of God to replace the love of things that are always fleeting.


Make this New Year, a year of change...


Happy New Year and Blessings,


Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Moving Snow

If I had a picture to show you how much snow I had to move on Sunday morning you may reconsider your complaints on how much snow you get where you live. I have without a doubt have moved more snow early in the mornings than most people move in the lower 48 all winter long. I'm not complaining, partly because it's a good workout, partly because I love snow, and partly because it has opened my eyes to some relevant life issues...

What could moving snow have to do with relevance of life issues? Well anything we put our hands to in life is relevant to the issues we face. There is nothing we do that should be done without dedication and resolve for purpose. Beyond that moving the amounts of snow that I did on just Sunday morning to get the parking lot cleared at our church, allowed an opening for a thought to come crashing into the forefront of my mind.

That thought was this: With every thrust of the oversized shovel that resembles a huge pankace scoop can be compared to my spiritual life. The reality is, any act we perform can be directly linked to our spiritual condition. I mean, there wasn't happiness to be up at 7 am moving thousands of pounds of snow while the wind blew drifts into the exact place I had just cleared. There wasn't joy for the service I was doing for my church and the people who would walk through the doors of the church that morning. In fact, I was a little irritated that the possibility existed that no one would show up for church at all making the burning eyes and muscles a waste of time.

Then I thought, which may very well have been the Holy Spirit, this is the same thing God does for us. He continually moves the things out of the way that keep us from serving Him faithfully. When every area He has cleared is filled in by another drift of mess to distract us, He patiently removes it again. He clears the path that we allow to get filled in. He is gentle and precise with his removal process. He cuts a perfect path for us to follow during the storms of life and lights them for us so we can see clearly. He needs no heavey coat, gloves, or stocking hat. There is no need for coveralls and big heavey boots, nor does any sweat brake and run down his face. His eyes don't burn from the blowing mess. He clears the mess from the storm out of the way time and time again. Yet we allow drifts to fill the cleared areas making it all the more possible for us to get lost on our way out the door.

I do believe in the relevance of all our actions to teach us something we need to know about our lives. Why do we get lost? Why do we get burned out, stressed out, and desire to roll over throwing the covers over our head and sleep through our time with Him..? Because from time to time it's easier than giving the effort to have a relationship that willl help keep the path cleared. It's not easey to moves snow and clear a path. Especially where I live. Drifts of over five feet on top of the 10 inches that fell, makes for a heavey load. But our hearts condition as we complete the task is more important than the task it'self.


Blessings,

Mike III, AKA: Big Daddy

Cry in Daddy's Arms

Recently Gracie was celebrating Gabby's fifth birthday with the family. She saw that Gabby had opened a gift with a pretty little baby doll and being a little girl who loves baby dolls as much as any little girl. She ran over to pick up the baby to play with it before Gabby had a chance to look at it. Daddy and Mommy told her it is Gabby's baby doll.
The dissapointment from her understanding spread across her face and a pouty lip came out. Daddy held out his arms and she ran over to burry her face in Daddy's chest. Then the sobs and big tears flowed. Daddy wrapped his arms around her little body and kissed her on the head to consol her dissapointment and calmed her.

As an adult we often times take for granted what it feels like to have arms to run to and burry our head and cry freelly when we are hurt, discouraged, and disspointed with life's circumstances. My beautiful little girl needed to be loved on and know that Daddy was there to hold her close and make everything ok. I need the same thing. Unfortunately there aren't many arms big enough to wrap around me as I cry.

Scripture tells us to cast our cares on Him (Christ). This is picture above will be a constant reminder to me that when I am down and just need to cry that I can run to Christ and burry my face in his chest with his warm and caring arms around me and cry. He will make it all ok.

Gracie knows that Daddy would take all her pain away if it were possible. But she also knows that Daddy can make her feel better. There is no difference with the Heavenly Father. Jesus is Always there, never dropps the ball, and has big enough arms for the biggest of us.


Blessings, and Happy New Year


Mike III, AKA: Big Daddy

Playing in the Sand

                                          Big Daddy and my girls on the beach East of Nome


Being a Youth Pastor/Associate Pastor/Children's Pastor/and Missionary, there is little time to spend enjoying life. A life of service brings happiness, but true joy is found in honoring my wife, children, and God. I serve in Obedience to God, but if I do not take care of my wife and children and minister to them I fall short of the calling God has placed on my life...

I have served as a Full Time Youth Pastor for a little over ten years. Throughout those ten years my family has suffered from the lack of Daddy time. If my service to my youth take me away from my responsibility to love and cherrish every moment with my wife and children, then I fall short of what God has ultimately called me to. Moving back to Alaska, to Nome especially-I have learned what it means to take a brake and leave everything behind for a time to enjoy the moments of playing the sand. One of the most popular Christian poems is "footprints in the sand." It talks about Christ carrying us when times are hard and we don't have the sgtrength to walk on our own. Scripture tells of Jesus writing in the sand at the persecutors of the adultrous woman. Then there is a story of the house built on sand. Not that I am concentrated on sand. But not all that many months ago I was out playing on the beach with my wife and children. I looked back over where they had been and their footprints marked their path running spiratically in and out of the waves crashing on the beach.

In the midst of their laughter I was blessed beyond all measure and thrown into tears of joy. Walking hand in hand with my girls I realized more than ever the importance of those moments with them. My oldest daughter just turned five years old. Five years have gone by so very fast. Time goes by to quickly to give up the moments.

Watching my kids play in the sand sitting with my wife laughing as they screetched with joy throwing sand and water in the air, brought me the joy of a life long memory created. Those memories upon recall will bring me joy for the rest of my life...


So here's Big daddy saying: "Take some time to play in the sand!"



Blessings,


Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

                                                            Mike and A hand in hand!
                                                          Beach in Nome Alaska 2010

First Christmas at "HOME"

                                          Pastor Mike and the Children's Christmas Party 2010

So this Christmas I realized the importance of the season with far more relevance in past years. I also know now how it feels to have a Christmas in a place you that you truly feel as HOME... Growing up as a pastors kid that moves almost every two years you never get to feel as though there is a place that is "home." Sadly I felt only two places as home and now when I return to those places they still feel like home. The one would be with my dad's family in West Virginia and the other Camp Lex. A camp? Sure, for 17 years moving all over Nebraska, I can honestly say we spent more time at Camp Lex than any home we had in ministry. So it became home to me. I can't speak for my brother and sister, but some of my best memories are from my time on that campground.

But this christmas, something was different. I was blessed beyond measure. Yes, my wife and kids were with me and I had a LOT of snow. But, this was my first Christmas where I felt like I was spending Christmas at home! Even my time in the ministry there has not been one place that God had not spoken to me and told me that "this is just a stop on the road." Nome is truly the first time where I feel like we are not going anywhere. The place that I feel God has called us to without "the stop of the road of ministry." I didnt' realize how important it was to me until I read old journal entrees. When it hit me, I was filled with a warmth and security I had never known...

I hope your Christmas was as blessed as mine. And if you are just on a breif stop on the journey of life in a place, I hope that you to can get to a place where you feel like you are spending your Christmas at "HOME."


Blessings,


Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

Birth of Pride

Gabby and Gracie

Once upon a time, in a state far far away. There was a mommy and daddy waiting patiently. No stork, no baskit with a bundle of joy wrapped in a blanket. But the real thing! Waiting and anticipating the arrival of their first born child.

For nine months mommy grew bigger and bigger and daddy waited paitently with excitement growing at every kick of mommy's tummy. A name was chosen by God, clothing and toys given, a room set up with crib and chair. Now they waited for the day when they met their first baby face to face.

During the coldest morning of the winter mommy rolled over and woke daddy. "It's time!" Daddy jumped up and with a flash started the car to make the dash! A full day of labor and ice chips followed. That night, the 22nd of december daddy and mommy recieved the best Christmas gift ever!

Daddy saw you first eyes so very blue, born face up looking at you. We wrapped you warm and gave you to mommy, daddy cryed tears of joy as did mommy...

That night this daddy learned what true pride and joy could be. Today is my Gabby's 5th birthday. For five years she has brought us joy beyond measure. She's our princess and much much more than a treasure. Jesus gave us this bundle of blessing to raise and keep safe. We are watching her grow into a beautiful little girls. Bright eyes and big smiles make our home full. God gave her a spirit of kindness and love for others. She's just like mommy and no other. I am more blessed than I could ever immagine to celebrate the birth of my first born daughter.

Thank you Jesus for the blessing of our children you gave us to take care of.

I love you Gabby more than you will ever know. Our connection will never grow old. You are daddy's girl until the day I pass. Never forget that Daddy loves you!

Merry Christmas,

Mike III AKA: Big Daddy

                                                Gabby and Gracie on the beach outside Nome

Fighting the Cold

It wasn't that long ago when I read about the Pharaoh of Egypt and God making his heart like stone. I have been thinking a lot about the coldness of hearts even in the warmth of the Holiday season. I am one that is prone to compassion and love for others. Sure, there are many times that I would rather not give the benefit of the doubt.. Don't we all? There are also times when I am angry and want to hold a grudge and I can be pretty good at that! Can't we all?

But, is there really any excuse for having a cold heart. Sure, there are circumstances that make us unhappy people. Life goes on! Have you ever run into that old person who is always grumpy and is feared by every little kid on the block? I wonder what their story is. When I was a kid and living in Lincoln Nebraska there was a grumpy old man that lived on our block. We were little enough that we had to stay on our street never leaving. So, we would ride our bikes up and down the block. Part way down the block there was this house with a very green yard always perfectly cut. Riding by feeling the wind in my face, I would always grip hard making my hands turn white and began to shake as I rode by this house. The old man was always sitting in front on his porch in a folded lawn chair. There was a lot about this old man that would make a little kid be afraid. He had huge knuckles from arthritis and longer fingernails than I had seen on most men. He wore a frown like a Halloween mask that seemed to never change. Hit snow white hair was short and seemed to be as icy as his heart.

One day i was riding down the sidewalk and didn't see a stick. I hit the stick solidly and was sent off course. As I pushed my feet back to brake my tires skidded on the sidewalk. My front tire went off the edge into this mans yard. My chain popped off and I flipped forward into his soft grass leaving the indent of my little body and a gaping hole from my bike pedal. When I realized I was in his yard my little body went into fear. I looked up and didn't see the man sitting there on the front porch like I had grown so accustomed to seeing. My momentary sigh of relief was shattered as big cold hands wrapped around my chest and arm. I could have sworn that my heart actually stopped. It wasn't long before I was lifted to my feet. I turned slowly and saw this old man with a frown on his face. He looked down at his perfect grass now broken. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes while waiting for him to yell at me or do something to me that my little imagination had so often done. Would he carry me to his basement and chain me to the wall? Would he yell at me and make me work as a slave to fix his property? Would he call the police? Would he walk me to my house and yell at my parents for letting their little boy destroy his yard. He had yelled at me before for accidentally riding through his yard. I fought back the tears and looked down to afraid to look into his eyes.

He let go of my arm and picked up my bike. I stood there when he said "come on." I walked up to his driveway. He opened his garage door and pulled a stool and a chair out. "Sit down." He turned my bike over and put the chain back on for me. Then grabbed a tool and tightened the chain. He told me I should pay more attention or I could get hurt.

I told him I was sorry for ruining his grass. He told me that while he worked very hard on the grass and loved to cut it and keep it green, it wasn't near as important as me being safe. I looked over at me and smiled. I had never seen him do this before and was in shock. I could almost hear his face screech as it moved from the frown and into a smile. As any little boy my mouth opened and words came out before my brain could stop them. "Why are you always so grumpy?" Uh oh! He looked at me and told me he wasn't grumpy, just lonely. He told me he lost his wife just before we moved in, and all the laughter was a reminder of the happiness he had before his wife died. We didn't live there real  long, but after that every day I would sit with the old man and talk with him while having a glass of tea. He told me all kinds of stories.

I don't remember the old mans name and I remember more his Knuckles than anything else. But, this got me to thinking about my life. I ran into some people who seem to be unhappy more than they are happy. What is their problem? Life isn't that bad. Well, how do I know what they have gone through? Maybe they got some bad news, maybe they lost the love of their life... I'm not saying we are justified to be grumpy. I am not even saying we don't have reason to be unhappy from time to time. What I am saying is that, there is a reason why people act the way they do. Allowing our hearts to grow cold and push people away only means one sure thing. Continued loneliness!

Today I hope and pray that if you are warm and happy you can look past the cold heart and grumpiness of others. Let your warmth warm them!


Merry Christmas,

Mike III AkA: Big Daddy

More than a moment

Sunset Bering Sea Outside my Office at OCS (Nome Alaska)

I am of the belief that we do not take the time to slow down and enjoy the moments we have. Last night I had to stay at the office later than usual for a treatment team meeting. This was the second night in a row that I saw the sun start to go down. But last evening in between calls, I stood at my window and watched the sun go down over the horizon. My office filled with a brilliant pink shade that covered the white walls.

This got me to thinking about those moments. As I stood there and breathed deeply quieting my mind, I realized that I need to take time. Sometimes we need to wake up and realize that there are more than just the moments. A moment can turn into an eternity, playing out in our memory.

When I was in College I would go to the Nursing Home (which was definitely out of my element) and read Scripture to an old man. He loved the King James version, which I do not prefer. Covering his walls were photos of family and one section that highlighted his younger years in the military. Before I would read, he would recall with clarity past events and tell me stories of what at the time would have been an insignificant moment if he hadn't taken the time to enjoy it. What I realize now is that there are no insignificant moments in time. They are only insignificant to us if we do not slow down and experience them. This old man couldn't remember what he had for breakfast or who he had talked to the day before. But, he could remember 50 plus years ago with precision of detail.

This got me to thinking about our twilight years. This old man isn't alone when it comes to short term memory loss. It's a fact of life that as we get older we have a hard time remembering things. But what stands out to me is the fact that our memory from years ago stays sharp. So every opportunity to just relax and take in the moment is significant. The old man would smile with every story he told me, sometimes the same story over and over. The moments we take can bring us joy as a snapshot memory from so long ago.

I took the picture above and below over the last couple of nights. But I won't remember from pictures as much as what I saw in that moment. Pictures fade and lose their detail and clarity over time. A memory may never fade...

So take the moments and hold on to them. Let them sink in through your eyes and be burned into your memory to recall in your twilight years!

Blessings,

Mike III AKA Big Daddy

Grace (Gracie) Elizabeth Christian 12-8-2010